Humans
The humans are an evil species. They are known for slaughtering all types of innocent species, causing the extinction of many. What many do not know is that they descend from the Derplings; they are an evil variety of the Derplings, and the only way to help them is to perform the sacred ritual on them. Humans are known to be weaker and less intelligent than Derplings. They are also constantly at war with Derplings, but their governments make sure the regular citizens do not know this. It is thus that Derplings are sent to recruit humans and show them the beauty of who they truly are—Derplings! Derplings are constantly working to kill all humans who refuse to be Derpified and convert those who want to become majestic. Derpification is an important factor of conversion, being the gateway to becoming a Derpling. The first human hated the Derplings and what they stood for, so he made his own ugly species he called "humans"; however, it is debated whether or not he intended the common pronunciation instead of "hoomans". History The Beginning A long time ago, much longer before most of the Derplings today, there was a Derpling who was unsatisfied with how he looked. He hated the Derp face; thus, he was destined to be evil. It is believed that he stole DerpyMcDerpell's magical knife while he was sleeping and used it to cut around his mouth to make an ugly, plain, gaping hole in his face. He used a Waffle Plane to escape through an exit portal to outer space in what is now the human dimension. The Waffle Plane, as he hoped, protected him from dying there. He eventually found a planet suitable for life. This planet is called Earth. He used DerpyMcDerpell's magical knife to create clones of his ugly self and began to start his new, evil species. He tried to teach them about society in order to start a social structure, but he failed miserably—the humans ended up killing each other and having wars, almost never cooperating. Wars and massacres were the results of humankind's creation. It was inevitable that the humans would lead to the extinction of millions of other species, and it was at this point that DerpyMcDerpell knew he had to stop petting his pet dog Kenny and to start actually doing something about the situation. Donald Trump Eventually, the former Derpling created Donald Trump. He hoped he could help the world, but Donald Trump went into hiding until the former Derpling pulled him out of an anglerfish's mouth and threw him into a country called America; however, the reason why Donald Trump was hiding is because he was secretly Derpified by DerpyMcDerpell and was used to spy on the planet and the human species. The former Derpling attempted to assassinate Donald Trump, but DerpyMcDerpell came in with his Grand Waffle Plane and rescued him, using a giant cookie razor to saw down the world, causing Pangaea to break up into what is now known as North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and Antarctica, otherwise known as the continents. The humans were angered at their leader and demanded change, and the former Derpling responded brutally, torturing the entire species, washing their memories away. Donald Trump, actually named Derpold Trumpy, returned safely to the Derpy Dimension and was given a country to rule as a reward for his hard work. The former Derpling saw this as an act of war and began to make even more humans, including a new Donald Trump. This Donald Trump was informed of the Derplings and was told to distract the world from the Derplings. Donald Trump, however, needed assistance, so the former Derpling named a region of Asia "North Korea". Donald Trump started faking being mean to Kim Jong-Un, who is actually in on the human ruler's plan. Death of a Dictator During the War of the Humans I, DerpyMcDerpell and the other Derpy Rulers set up plans to assassinate the human ruler. The major downfall of the war was the potato meteor shower that was sent to the human ruler's location. The human ruler had a choice: He could escape and live as the only human left, or he could resume with the evil continuation of humans and not let them be converted. After a large potato squished him, he died shortly after sending out some magic from the Derp Knife that continued making humans. DerpyMcDerpell collected his Derp Knife and returned to the Derpy Dimension, unaware of the continuing of humans.